It is easier to make a suggestion when we are not the person experiencing the situation. This is why it is often very important to try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before offering critical advice. Like, for example, when I watched a mother let her child climb, kick, and smudge a dessert case while she calmly ignored it - I mean, paid for her drink – I had to stop to put myself in her situation.

The kid continued to dump an entire bad of chips on the floor and run off leaving the mess for the employees to clean. So, even though I first want to suggest that the mom discipline her kids and apologize to the employees I feel I should try to understand how the mother feels.

I’m sure that she is very stressed. I bet that the kids are stressful and that getting out for a soda with a girlfriend is a luxury. I also bet that the employees are stressed; they have people in line, orders to fill, and other work to tend to. The employees represent discipline by maintaining a cool, calm composure even though their store is being disrespected.

Stress is not an excuse to forego discipline, especially at the expense of other people. This mother was not practicing discipline in herself or in her child. She was not considering the way that other people around her would have to react to her actions, or her child’s actions. The employees and other customers practiced discipline and considered her feelings and it would have been nice if she would learn – and teach – the same. -ed

Keeping a positive outlook is not an easy task – not in my world. Some people have the ability to make sweet lemonade out of a sour lemon so fast that it amazes me. Dwelling on a negative situation is never a good thing, but is it really that harmful to ponder a bad thought or two?

The great positive writers such as Napoleon Hill author of Think and Grow Rich and Norman Vincent Peale best known for The Power of Positive Thinking  suggest that we  constantly banish negative thoughts. However, Dr. Julie K. Noremsuggests that we harness anxiety and can reach our peak performance by using defense pessimism in her book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking . I have all of these books and have scanned through them hoping a simple solution for finding my destiny will jump out at me. Nothing has yet, however I do find pieces of encouraging words and phrases that keep pushing me forward.

While I often want to throw in the towel, I think that it can be a good thing to get frustrated. Negativity can’t rule ones mind, but I do believe that it can ignite a flame that might brighten the path we want to tread down. Maybe negative thoughts are tiny sparks that fuel passion toward positivity.

There is a world of “ifs, ands, or buts” and there is always some good in some bad and vice versa. I’m not sure if axing all negative thoughts are always the best way to move forward. Sometimes a foul force is exactly what we need to push us in a positive direction. -ed

It seems like I’ve been searching for my calling my whole life. Even though I have a college degree, I still don’t feel like I’m prepared to be all I can be. What I think I want isn’t matching up with what I’ve already got. I want to do something that I’m good at, something that doesn’t feel like work, all while improving lives and the world around me. Too much to ask?

I don’t care if it is a tall order, because there is no point in living without passion. I’ve been writing about finding a focus and putting positive imagery to work as a way to bring dreams to life. (O, Yes I Can) It’s hard to work toward a fuzzy vision. Searching for purpose is a job itself, and frustrating as well. I have an array of interests and pinning down something that meets “dream job” criteria is exhausting me.

Looking for answers prompts questions that make me wonder if I have what it takes to reach some of the goals I have buried deep inside my mind. When I get some courage to start moving toward something I get harsh interrogation, like “What experience do you have? Then what makes you think you have what it takes to do XYZ?” That is discouraging. If you ask me, no one can be sure that they are cut out to do something until they try and learn.

Knowing where to go for help can seem impossible too. I know that I have a passion for writing; I get a kick out of entertaining and encouraging people. I also realize that I need to polish my grammar and that I could use a mentor from time to time. The people that have the power to mentor can sometimes be discouraging. “Writing requires a thick skin,” are words that I have read over and over. I am told that the town I live in lacks opportunity for another career that I hope to achieve. So what is a person to do? Seek and share. Seek positive people who will support the dream goals that you share with them.

Bouncing ideas around with optimistic people can lead to getting the help that you need to reach your goals. Nobody is 100% successful with 0% of help. Don’t cram those dreams away like they are a dark secret. Shed some light on them by sharing. Sharing will help clarify your goals as well as start bringing them to life. There are kind people that want you to succeed.

Happy people that thrive on positive vibes are the kind of people that will want you to have a happy life full of passion. I encountered two people today that took time out of their day to help me get in touch with people that might be able to breathe some life into my dreams. They didn’t laugh at me; they were generous with their recourses, yet realistic with what I may be up against. I appreciated this considering how often I feel like I’m going in circles and getting nowhere. O Yes Good People Do Exist, sometimes we search too hard for something that is already within reach. -ed

It takes strength to keep at a goal when it feels like failure prevails at every attempt. Last week I mentioned in the article ”O Yes I Can Stay Positive“, that I had a day filled with disappointment that challenged my ability to stay focused with a positive attitude. Yes, I got bummed out, but I made myself bounce back and it just might be merely a re-routing to my destination. 

I had entered an art contest and my two pieces were not accepted to be in the show. Ouch! Not that I felt they were my best work, but they did have hard work, thought, and effort applied as thick as the acrylic paint was to the canvas. After a mini hissy fit, I convinced myself that the judges were tasteless – ok that was not my honest conclusion, however I am hoping that my work just didn’t fit the theme as well as the other entrants. I respect that. A few days later I got back on the internet and looked for more call for artists. I found a gallery looking for art, sent a sample and they liked the piece well enough to want to see more. I have a chance to have my painting, and maybe my photography, in a real gallery! I may never have found this out if I had not been “dismissed” from the other show. In the least, I got complimented on a piece of my art and that makes me want to keep trying.

There you have it, a live example at taking a bad experience and turning it into a good, maybe soon to be great experience. In the past, I might not have taken the time to see the good that budded from a bad seed. I doubt I would be brave enough to share the idea that the bud might blossom into something beautiful without being sure of it. I am not sure what will happen, the gallery might not like my photography and maybe that one painting is the best piece I will ever produce. However, if I don’t try, and keep trying I will never know.  -ed

I have been writing on training my brain to think more positive and to visualize good things happening in my life. (O Yes I Can)As a recovering pessimist, it can be challenging to constantly swap out bad thoughts for good. I used to feel that if I entertained positive thoughts then I was not being realistic. It seemed more proper to dwell on what could go wrong instead of what might go right. After a while being negative got so exhausting that decided I had nothing to lose besides a bad attitude by trying to change my though patterns.

I’ve been working on this attitude adjustment for some time now and here are a few things that I’ve noticed have changed for the better in my life.

1. I’m attracting more positive people. I’ve connected with upbeat, encouraging people and building better relationships.

2. I’m less stressed. I am prone to freaking out pretty easy (say “hi” to my type A personality) however, I have gotten better about thinking about my situation before I get too worked up over nothing.

3. I think more positive with less effort. It is true that with practice, it becomes easier to change a negative thought to a positive one.

I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be. However, the road to getting there doesn’t seem as treacherous as it did when I began. I have big dreams and I plan to live them. I have a great life now but there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be even better. O Yes I Can Live Better!!!       -ed

Happy Monday! It’s a few days until the weekend arrives again but don’t wish your life away thinking that fun is reserved for Saturday and Sunday. I’ve been writing about using visualization to improve life. (O, Yes I Can)   Creative visualization can help you create what you want in life. It got Ellen the cover of O Magazine and I want to believe that it can help us enjoy every bit of life, even if it takes some training.

Now, I’m not a fool to think that I’m going to close my eyes and picture my house on the hill with the warm sun glistening on my face and awake to find house keys in my tan, little hands. However, from what I read, if I keep holding these images in my mind then I am creating the energy and possibility of making those images a reality. Sounds a bit out there at first but if you consider what people mean by drawing positive energy, it starts to make sense.

I think what people mean, like  Shakti Gawain the author of “Creative Visualization “, is that when you focus on things you want you become clearer as to the things you need to do to get them and make them happen. When you concentrate on these good things then you begin to create ideas of the things that you want in life and what is most important to you. Shakti suggests four steps for effective creative visualization.

1. Set Your Goal
2. Create a Clear Idea or Picture
3. Focus On It Often
4. Give It Positive Energy

The first one suggests setting a simple goal to begin with, something that gets you in the habit of believing good things. How about visioning that you will have a good day every day of the week? Do everything possible to make that happen. Try doing something to cheer up a friend at work or just make it a point to laugh. (careful not to confuse, do not “point and laugh”-those results might not be so positive!) -ed

There is a lot to be said for giving thanks. Some say, “hey, thanks for nothin’” and other’s really count their blessings. In the kick off article “O, Yes I Can” I explained that I plan to explore the possiblities of living a better life by using visualization and positive thinking. Hopefully with a good attitude along with gratitude “O yes I can” live an Ellen/ Oprah lifestyle and beyond!

Making note of gratitude does help us see the things that we appreciate in our lives. It can help set a bad day straight. Sometimes when you feel like the day is off to a bad start, step back a minute an write down 5 things that are right about the day. Actually seeing the good things written out can make a difference in our attitude for the rest of the day. Maybe a co-worker left the coffee empty. If you take a moment to be glad that you have coffee available to you then maybe brewing up the next batch isn’t so bad.

I try to make gratitude notes on good days too. I think it makes me see the things with a better attitude and attitudes spread. Good or bad and I’d rather be responsible for perking up somebody’s day than dragging it down. Now it can be dang difficult to write out gratitude when you feel frusterated. If you are having trouble finding your purpose in life then stay tuned. I raided the library trying to find material to help our O, Yes I Can travels using visualization. I came away with a few that might offer some tips. So far I like this sentence from “Intelligence for Your Life“, by John Tesh: “Purpose-driven people encourage each other and stand shoulder to shoulder in battle.” I know the guy has a rap for being sappy but who cares if we learn something to improve one another!? -ed

“O yes I can” live an Ellen/ Oprah lifestyle and beyond! I will use visualization like Ellen did to land the cover of Oprah’s magazine to live a better life and to make better lives for the people around me. There’s an article about visualization on Physical Matters, and the comments support the benefits of using positive visuals. I frustrate easy and can let negativity creep in to delude my hopeful spirit, but I am bullheaded enough not to give up.

As a series for ed’s watch I want to share my practice of positive thinking and visualization with readers. With your support, “o yes I can” live and give a better life. I’ve been a fan of Ellen and Oprah for years. They exemplify a life that many dare to only dream about, I want to have it and more. They both use their show to inform, entertain, but above all to make dreams come true for other people.

Ellen enjoys having fun with her life. If you’ve watched her show she takes time everyday to dance and laugh. Something we should all do more of. She has a knack at being side-splitting hilarious without being mean. Here’s part of the edswatch plan: to take notes from the Ellen show and try to implement similar positive aspects and help improve people’s life. Now, I don’t get to watch the show often - it airs during the part of my day that I try to make it as a writer(visualizing and doing)however, I will try to record it and if any of you readers watch it and can share ideas with for the improvement movement let me know. I may just be one ordinary person, but I am going to believe that “O yes I can” have an Ellen/Oprah life and beyond!!!

For my first visualization I will share with you what I call my Empress Empire. My plan is if I build it they will come. Ok, maybe I’m a goof but I don’t care. It’s all about giving life to my dreams, and in my dream I am an Empress with an Empire of wealth to share. Much of what I visualize right now is an Empire of happy, positive, loving people surrounding me and supporting me as I work toward my many goals. I have a lot of goals but let’s start with running and writing. Now, how can I rein supreme Empress of my Empire and reach my goals by influencing others?

I hope that by sharing my personal dreams that it will encourage and inspire you to go for a goal – or many goals. I am pretty private about my inner thoughts and not comfortable about revealing my private desires of big dreams, so let’s make it pay off! Share with me your goals and visuals for a better life, tell me how you stay focused.  I want to expand on gratitude next time. (O, Yes I Can – With Gratitude) Stay posted!!! “O YES WE CAN!” -ed

Are you aware of your facial expressions? Some people wear their thoughts out loud and others hold a fabulous poker face. I tend to get pretty animated at times with thinking out loud; my brow crinkles at questions and my eyes smirk at humor. While most of my expressions are directed toward my private thoughts, I have to remember that in public other people do not know this. It’s important to edit our outward expressions out of respect for others.

People can be pretty insensitive in public. As if whispers and glares can’t be heard or seen. When my sister and I were kids, we would go shopping with our mom and get lost in our own world. We would laugh and giggle at any and everything. Our entertainment was generally inspired by each other, but an outsider might not know this. Our mom would shush us and tell us to straighten up. We didn’t quite know what we were doing wrong, but in retrospect I can see what she was trying to teach us. Even though we weren’t being rude to someone else, the fact that the behavior could be interpreted as rude is rude.

If you’ve never felt insecure or been teased, then kudos to you, you’re rare. For the majority of us that know what it’s like to feel a tad self-consious from time-to-time, be considerate of how you express yourself.  The personal snicker smeared across your face could upset someone not the wiser; however a pleasant smile could boost the day to a person in need. -ed

An article on Zen Habits inspired today’s column. Leo Babauta wrote about why we should encourage others to be their best. I love this because we all face ungraceful moments when we get jealous at someone else’s success. Often our first instincts are to get mad and wonder why they deserved something good and not us. We also will go as far as to withhold information that could help further their success.

I have a friend who is good at everything. We have a lot in common, but to me it always seemed like she could “one up” me without trying. We both played tennis – she was #1 varsity and I was #2 jr.  varsity on a good day. We both gratuated with honors – she was academic honors and I was art honors. We both went to college – she got a masters and I a bachelors. I prefer marathons, she likes triathlons. However you slice it we are both designed to excel in ways that are the proper stepping stones in our lives. Neither is better than the other, but when you have similar goals with someone else, then you tend to compare characteristics and think one is better than another.

We both enjoy writing as a pasttime and we both hope to include writing in our lives as more than a mere hobby. At first I was nervous – almost jealous - when she began telling me that she was making submissions as well. I analyzed this because I was confused why I felt that way, especially because I knew I wanted her to have all of her dreams – and I want mine too. I realized that if I am meant to have a career in writing the universe will let it be so. First of all we write different things. Second, there is plenty of room in the world for the both of us as successful writers. I began sharing information with her and sending her links that I thought she might appreciate. I’ve not got any big book deals yet but I think that pushing my friend towards her dreams has helped me clairify mine.

I want to have what is mine.  I don’t want the life that is made for someone else, it won’t fit so why try to wear it? If someone is struggling to get into theirs and you can help, why wouldn’t you? -ed