“Dare to dream” is a popular saying. It has a dangerous word and a safe word to complete the phrase. Have you ever prepared for a destination only to discover that it was different when you arrived? For example, I always tried to plan my study and homework schedule for each new semester in college. What usually ended up happening is that once classes started my “plan” went out the window and the schedule took on a life of its own. Group projects or lab assignments were just a couple of the detours responsible for redirecting my route.

Why is dreaming daring; and what does it have to do with a schedule? Because dreaming means planning out a schedule that has a high risk of changing. The outcome might be very different than what you let yourself believe might happen. The idea of making plans for a future that could change is scary. Is the solution to stop dreaming and planning? I hope not. If that were the case then I probably would have not graduated.

Planning for an unpredictable future means we must be flexible. It’s hard to be flexible when we want something to go a certain way. The phase, “better to bend than to break” is about flexibility. Learning to allow ourselves to be daring enough to dream and strong enough to bend is key for finding peace with the unknown. Nobody can be certain of what will happen in the future but if dreams and reality work together then there are more possibilities for an even better outcome.

In other words, if we don’t dream just because the turnout might not happen exactly as we hope then how can we ever expect to learn and experience new things? Curiosity creates ideas stemmed from dreams that turn into great realities. If we shut down dreams then we risk never knowing what we could have had by believing it was ever possible.  -ed

Since the fourth of July falls on Saturday this year most people get Friday off. Nothing is sweeter than a short work week and a long weekend. It can be hard to contain the excitement when looking forward to being outside with friends and family. Parties are everywhere and aren’t limited to just the fourth day in July.

While everybody is busy planning all the summer cookouts, pool parities, and more; here are some fun facts about Independence Day. Maybe they will keep your brain busy until it’s officially time for a brain break.

4th of July Fun Facts

4th of July by the Numbers

Independence Day Trivia

There is plenty to celebrate when we are fortunate to live in a country that has so many opportunities. It is our responsibility to take such opportunities and turn them into something fantastic. When we do that we create more opportunity for ourselves and others.

Remember that people fought to make our country a better place to live. We can continue to fight the fight for freedom. We can take to heart lessons learned in the past and create better fights for the freedom of the future. Kindness and compassion are a sure way to get more bang for your buck.

Enjoy the weekend of fun and remember to be safe. Summer traditions are made for holidays like July 4th. Write in and share some of your summer traditions. -ed

It’s never fun to know you did something wrong. It hurts to know you hurt someone else. Owning up to a mistake is noble and respectable. What do you do when the person, or people, that were hurt don’t forgive?

It’s difficult to understand what other people feel and think. Every person has a born right to have feelings - no matter their age, gender, or race. A person has a right to reject a plea for forgiveness. However, in spite of the pain you must understand that you still have the right to forgive yourself for making a mistake and hurting another person. We are all human and make errors. The honorable thing to do is to realize the error and own up to the mistake. After that it is up to the other person to do their part.

Relationships are not always easy. Feelings get hurt and misunderstood sometimes. While owning up to your part in the misunderstanding is the right thing to do, forgiving yourself is important, too. The other party involved is not perfect either. Even though they might deserve the apology, they are human, too, and err as well. If they are having trouble forgiving then it is back on you to realize they might have deeper relationship issues to deal with. If a relationship is strong then it will prevail. If it is weak then it is only a matter of time before something causes a break. 

We all make mistakes and some are worse than others. Strong relationships take work. Strength and nobility are not things you tattoo onto your skin, but they are characteristics that require practice. They are gained by owning up and forgiving the self and others. To be human is to err. To be compassionate is to forgive. -ed

It has been said in order to grow we must get out of our comfort zone. Does that mean we must do things we dislike in order to grow? I think the answer is yes sometimes. What about doing things that we don’t like just to prove growth, is that necessary?

Let me give an example: I love to run. I’ve raced in the past and done better than I ever believed possible for me to do. After a while I got very burned out on racing. At times I get an urge to go out and run a race for fun, but then the many hassles remind me of why I don’t. So am I restraining from growth or have I achieved the level that I already tested?

I tend to overthink decisions and situations at times – not always a bad characteristic, however a frustrating one. Tell me your decision making stratagies.  Do you just go for it, or do you have a process? Are you where you want to be or is there more you want to achieve? Advice welcome. -ed

I just read “Accepts no limits…The road is long so what…” and two other phrases that didn’t stand out in my mind. They were on a Nike t-shirt.  As a runner I like them. As an optimist in training I must live by them.

Having faith in life is not an option for me, it is imperative. Faith is a stage of security that requires a strong set of guts. The ability to have faith and accept limitless possibilities, while enduring the long road of life’s journey takes courage and commitment.

Like running, it is not always easy to get going but once you get started the pace is not as hard as first expected. There will be bumps in the road but if you keep going it will eventually smooth out and the up hills will go downhill. You can’t see these obstacles when you begin. You have to have faith that the road keeps going around the bend and through the canopy of trees.

See what you want and expect that you can get it. In “Make It Happen” I discussed how action helps move toward goals. More action may mean more steps involved toward reaching a goal. Think of a goal as a milestone, not a stopping point. A goal should be a large step that gives a big boost, but it should not be a dead end.  Goals should be a shiny signal that faith is in your favor; and proof that if you had accepted limitations a few steps back, then you would have missed the goal step. Take the goal step in stride and continue to move beyond. A goal is not a limit. A goal is like a rewarding key that allows you to walk through the door to which you’ve arrived. You must have faith that the door will open and the steps will continue down the long road of life.  Accept no limits and have faith stepping through the long road. -ed

Making most out of every day is important. It is also a challenge for most people. It’s always tempting to say that how happy we will be when Friday arrives. Friday gets here and then we want it to be 5 PM. Five o’clock gets here and the we say how much better we will feel after all of the weekend chores are finished so we can prop up our feel and relax. It seems we wish life away.

The nuisances in life make it hard to enjoy each day. It isn’t easy to show appreciation for life when it seems like there is always something causing stress. There are numerous suggestions for eliminating everyday stress.  Cutting out stress helps stimulate relaxation therefore making it easier to make the most out of the present. Here are five ideas from various searches.

1. music – listen to something calm to relax – give your brain some good background noise.

2. organize – rearrange your work station or toss the junk mail off the kitchen table.

3. chit-chat – take a few minutes to check up on a friend.

4. gum – funny but a known stress releaser is chewing gum. Stick with sugar free because dentists’ visits are not relaxing.

5. laugh - try to laugh more, read a daily joke, or listen to a radio show. Laughing is good for you, doesn’t hurt the abs either.

If you can find a few ways to relax and cut stress it is easier to appreciate the moment that you are living in. It’s a good feeling when you are able to feel content and happy in the now, instead of holding off happiness for later. Distraction from stress gives the brain a chance to focus on the pleasant things that make each day happy. Sometimes it takes a little push to remind us that now is here so make the most of it before it’s gone. -ed

You can’t give something away that you don’t have. Simple. The phrase at a first glance might make you think of tangible objects. For example, you can’t give me a cookie if you don’t have any cookies. While this is true for material things, it is the same for compassion and emotional expressions.

People lose sight of how important it is to be happy and compassionate before we can ever consider making anybody else happy. It does not mean that if you are still learning to treat yourself well that you can’t do right by others. It just means to remember how very necessary it is to find happiness and good nature within one’s self, and how much more we can give to others when we have “got it” in our own self.

Many people live on emotional credit. They give, give, and give but they don’t have it to give. They seek outside sources as a temporary fix so they can keep giving what they don’t have. We, as a society, are worn out. I am not claiming it to be easy, but it is necessary to exercise and strengthen ourselves emotionally.

We all deserve to be happy.  For some people it takes practice to become emotionally strong. When we get worn down and become weak, it can take a new routine to build back up into a stronger, emotionally fit person. Next time things are not working out, change the routine. Start a routine that changes negative thinking and puts positive thought patterns into motion. Good thoughts will manifest, becoming plentiful for you to give. -ed

How to make things happen? Bookstores have shelves loaded with remedy reading and libraries have long waiting lists for books that promise to show us how to make our dreams come true. Some of the advice is fluff, some offer good suggestions, but no book can put the practice into play when the game is on.

Reading and searching tips about how to make dreams and goals a reality is a good start. However, all the reading and seeking is futile without action. Merriam’s online dictionary describes action as “an act of will” or “a thing done”. Dreams are driven by action. Gathering ideas and putting together a playbook is exactly what helps prepare grow goals. Many books suggest writing out goals and dreams. It’s a form of action.

Action helps sort out those desires and dreams that we think we want. When we write, research, and Google as a way to take action towards reaching those goals we discover more about what we want and how to get it. I’m still putting together my playbook but I refuse to let my pen dry up. I must keep collecting data from all resources available. Today we are lucky to have easy access to a plethora of information. I have to keep sifting through all of the print, on-line search results, networking and more as a means to keep moving toward my goals. There are plenty of days that feel like time is wasted and I’m spinning my wheels. If you feel like this, don’t be fooled. The wheels will only get some place if they are in motion. -ed

Everyone always knows that life is fragile and to be cherished. It’s one of those things that we know but don’t always fully understand until something forces us to re-examine the way we treat life. As humans depending on how well we react to our lessons they tend to keep teaching until we learn.

Nothing is harder than keeping a cool attitude when a day seems to be filled with one aggravation after another. It’s not easy to love and appreciate the people around us when it feels like they disrespect us. Those are the pressure-cooker moments that we must learn to recognize and treat as though it were a final exam. Even if you handle the pressure with the utmost grace, there is no guarantee that plans will play out in your favor. Perhaps a different lesson is being taught. However, just because the results might not have been what you expected, don’t underestimate the power of grace.

Maintaining grace, as a way to react to the challenges that this cherished life deals to us, is hard but rewarding. When we are able to simmer a bit in a sauna-like situation, we are able to react to situations like a cool cucumber – fresh. A fresh, calm response is a way to give respect to life. The fragility that it possesses is deserving of respect, even in strenuous times. As a hot-tempered person at times, I realize that it is not a simple practice for many people, but it can become routine. Take time to cherish life, even in the trying times. Better to do the homework now instead of having to repeat the lesson later. -ed

Once I jotted down a phrase that a friend liked; it went like this: “I am kind and empathetic, not to be mistaken for weak. I practice representing the remark.

Many people seem to think that a person of compassion has no backbone. Such a fallacy. Just because I refuse to walk around wearing a gruff attitude on my sleeve, does not mean I don’t know how to be assertive.

Often people fear being used as a doormat and compensate with an angry attitude. Perhaps they feel the only way to request respect is by demanding it in a harsh manner. Attitude spreads, and if a person represents an arrogant aura then others will sense it and naturally retaliate.

However, if we support a strong, assertive persona with a compassionate understanding for all of which surrounds us, then we will contribute toward more of the same. Someone that chooses to be happy, pleasant, and caring is probably stronger than the hard-head who thinks they are “confidant.” How we treat others speaks volumes as to how we treat ourselves. Strength requires courage, not condescension. -ed